Pehla Nasha — The dope is in the details
Inspiration sometimes comes from unexpected quarters!
Yeah, I always wanted to create my own blog. But never got myself to doing it. Until today.
And the inspiration has come from rather unexpected quarters.
There are three people who are the reason for this first article- one unknown (may even be fictional!) and two friends- Yogesh and Manish.
Let us start with the unknown.
There is a person Venkatachalam (I don’t know whether this is a real person or a fictional name used by someone- but let me assume that it is indeed Venkatachalam)
Venkatachalam has written a very nicely worded post on the current happenings regarding the Bollywood drug connections which stare at you every morning through the newspaper. The post is indeed humourous and I have reproduced it below (Thanks Venkatachalam!)
The big भांग Theory!
The NCB has been interrogating actors, trying to ‘weed’ out a few addicts. And the stars are making a “hash” of it! As they attempt to pull “d-rug” from under their feet, they believe that they will get hold of at least twenty of them. They said that they “Can-nab-बीस! They threatened to give them “a kick” and the respondents admitted that they’ve already been getting it regularly. Finally, on hearing a Bollywood favourite song “उड़ उड़, The-Bong, The-Bong…” they got hold of a Bengali gal. However, they are yet to catch the big fish, a Salmon! The common man has now come to the conclusion that Bollywood’s popular catchphrase is “…If I could, I’d really उड़…”!
The grassy mountains and the Indo-गांजाtic plains are filled with people who have gone to ‘pot’. And “Holy Smokes”, it is mostly the Sadhu Babas who are at it! One has to just say “Hi(gh)” and get into their circle. “Weed attracts भीड़ and we’ed always welcome anyone” they are known to say.
College students in India are known to replace the tobacco in the fag. This “Make in India” initiative is internationally branded and called “माल-भरो” cigarettes. For the student, this is truly a self-full-filling prophecy! One of the IITs even had a cultural festival named मार-दी-grass!
My favourite one-liners:
- Narc ही स्वर्ग का रास्ता है!
- Remember, Brown Sugar is not गुड़!
- Gujjus say ‘Marijuana means મરી જવાનું (मरी जवानु).
- However hard enforcement agencies try, such things will be back with a भांग!That’s all the ‘dope’ I have on this subject.
Written by Venkata‘chillam’ (oops, I mean Venkatachalam)
A friend of mine, Yogesh, forwarded this hilarious message on one of the groups. And he asked me to send a rejoinder to the message.
So, egged on by Yogesh, I wrote the following rejoinder to the message (I hope it reaches Venkatachalam and he does not take offence)
Here goes:
Dear Venkatachalam
Your chillum seems to be full. Or the stuff you are taking seems to be of a good quality. Maybe it’s the milk in your tea as the cow is on “grass.”
Your objective seems to be to identify “char-ass” in Bollywood and get them ‘Stoned’ And then send them to “Tully wood”. You think that with your Mandrax the magician tricks, you will get your “fix!”!
Actually you want to plant some “heroin” on some heroine and take advantage of the ensuing Ecstacy. You seem to be behind some- what it is- Ah ha-feem (ah ha fame)
And then maybe hookah-up with some nice chic. Deepika पूँछ रही थी कि तूने Dia तो क्या Dia? तू फँस गया तो तुझे कोई Rhea (रिहा ) नहीं करेगा।
Please don’t “drag” any of them into your car-tel. Otherwise Salmon, the big fish will smoke you out n squish your butt with his Kick. He won’t care for your cigar (sugar) levels just because you “meth” him with (H)ashish.
Dude ka doodh aur fir powder ka ढेर बनते देर नहीं लगती। Take care of your chillum else उसे भी फूँक डलेगा !
- Drug-esh (Durgesh) Raja
(Obviously a Fictional name!)
Well, once this was drafted, I sent it to a close group of friends who are my sounding board (I test my writing skills on them- my guinea pigs!)
At 4:30 am my sleep was interrupted when nature’s call beckoned and by virtue of habit, I tagged my cell phone along. I saw Manish’s message — “Why don’t you start your own blog?” That got me thinking and well, as they say, the rest is history!
Thank you Manish, Thank you Yogesh and yes, Thank you Venkatachalam! My inspirations out of the blue!
